Thursday, November 8, 2012

Catching up

Haven't been on here in quite some time. It seems like the weeks just fly by, literally. Between work, Eva, school, etc. Eva is already going on 9 months. Happy, but so sad at the same time. It is in inevitable feeling that she is growing up so fast. I am taking every advantage of being able to HOLD HER while I can, before she walks and wants to be on her own. Being a Mom is the life's grandest privilege. I am so blessed to be Eva's mom. Everybody reminds me how adorable, and loving she is, and all I can do is smile. She is just astonishingly beautiful. I look at her, and I still cannot believe she is mine. Even 9 months later the thought is overbearing. I am so in love with my little bundle of joy. I am a completely different person. I love being home on the weekend evenings and being with her, watching her explore with her toys, and her silly noises. It gives me a satisfactory feeling that nothing else can give me. Her little face is just so kissable, and squeezable and I cannot get enough of her. 

Life has had no meaning whatsoever until I had Eva. She gives me hope to be a better person, mother, daughter (now, I completely understand my Mother's wise words growing up), and overall human being. I would take a bullet for her, no doubt. Not a sense of doubt even crosses my mind that I wouldn't. My life is Eva, and I cannot thank God enough for the love he has given me through her. 


I started a blog about her, where you can see pictures.
Tumblr-evavalentine


Other than that, school is school, and relationships are relationships. Nothing really exciting. Just trying to finish up my school, so I can extend my education elsewhere. 

Until next time :)

Monday, April 9, 2012

Eva

Life has changed drastically since my last post, about 2 months ago on my blog. I haven't really found the perfect chunk of time to sit and write about this fantastic journey I have began of motherhood until now. My little valentine, Eva Leanne Gomez, was born on February 14, 2012 at 10:34 p.m. It was a long, strenuous, and anxious delivery, but I got through it and received my perfect Valentine gift, my daughter. She is beautiful, and reminds me a lot of myself, physically and emotionally. I never thought throughout my whole pregnancy I was carrying a girl, but little did we know, we were all taken by a surprise when we finally got to meet her.

Labor. It is everything people say it is. I came down to the point in my 19 hour delivery that my own techniques for breathing, and staying calm, and focused were going to suit me best. So, I erased my memory of everything I had learned in our childbirth class, all that I had read on the internet, and all the stories that my fellow mothers have chatted to me about. I needed to get through it MY way. When I finally got to the pushing stage of labor, I was exhausted and literally just wanted to sleep the day away, but NO, I was determined as ever to finish strong and successful. As I pushed and reached the last couple steps and I heard the first cries it was ALL worth it. Like everybody says, it was worth every bit of pregnancy, labor, and delivery. Now.. I just couldn't wait to get out of the hospital.

Two days later, we finally got to go home and take our little one with us. Petrifying, but exciting. The first few weeks were tough, impatient, long, and irritating. Thank God I had my mother there with us to spare me a few hours of sleep every now and then. But once she left, it was all Ivan and I. Patience is key. Once you find your patience and learn to cope with it, your golden. And I think I have found it,  and Ivan has also. Eva is an excellent sleeper, and I have only felt sleep deprived a few times, but nothing I could seriously complain about compared to other people I have heard from.

Eva is my everything. She is absolutely breathtaking in every sense of the word and in every way, shape and form. I miss her when I leave the house for just an hour or two. It is crazy to think that this little human being relies on me and Ivan for EVERYTHING. That she needs me as much as she does. That I made her. That she recognized my face and voice at such a young age. That she smiles back at me and leaves me the most amazing happiness. She is a miracle, and she is mine. I am going to miss her extremely much when I go back to work in a couple weeks, and I just hope that I don't miss too much of her growing up.

I can't wait to share our lives together, and get to know her more every single day as she grows up and that I am the one she will call "Mom", just like I did with my own.

I love you Eva Leanne Gomez <3 Love your mother.....






Sunday, February 5, 2012

Women > Men

This week I will complete a full term pregnancy of 40 weeks if I make it to Thursday. At this point in time, the baby could decide to come at anytime. I feel so mentally and emotionally ready that all I want is the day to come and feel that happiness that everyone describes to me. As I was speaking to my oldest brother-in-law last night, he told me with his arm around my shoulder in the most uttermost confidence and it was so clear to see that his little boy brings him so much sunshine to his life, even when he comes home from a long work day or wakes up from a 2 hour night sleep. He explained to me that I really have no idea what is headed my way in regards to experiencing a love so deep, so eternal, and so vast. I can't wait to meet you, neither can your Grandma.... 


On another note, I felt some other emotions take their toll on me that I haven't felt in some time. And I have to admit that it has felt pretty good to have a such a long break from these emotions. However, I Have so many unanswered questions. Why are people out to destroy others happiness? Why don't people take their own lives by the reigns and fix them if their so unhappy? Why break others? What has happened to peoples values, respect or morals? Why is it SO hard to just trust others? Why does temptation always persist? Are people just NOT happy with one person anymore? Is marriage torture more than fulfillment? Why must one always watch ones back? I feel simply embarrassed and like I want to throw up in my mouth with the actions that have been done. I have been raised by two amazing, supportive, loving, caring, forgiving, exceptional, and over the top intelligent parents who have taught me to remain faithful in my relationships, respectful (which I sometimes forget how to be, but the important thing is my awareness of that), and remain happy with my own self. Its time to look in the mirror and think rationally, and you can only think rationally if with a clear head and once you have a clear mind I recommend these measures to guide you.... 


All I can do is offer these advices to you...
5 Rules to Your own Happiness
1. Free your heart from hatred
2. Free your mind from worries
3. Live simply
4. Give more
5. Expect less


"Some people feel the rain, while others just get wet" - Bob Marley 

Thursday, January 12, 2012

36 Weeks

My pregnancy is coming to an end. It has been a long 9 months, but at the same I feel like time has passed like the blink of an eye. It has been quite the experience, and something I will never forget for the rest of my life. I moved into our little "casita" with my fiance, Ivan and we have fortunately been able to be together throughout the whole experience. I lived through my 25th birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, etc without one sip of alcohol and well.... I didn't really party much! All the aches and pains, sleepless nights, heartburn, alterations with eating, uncomfortableness, fainting episodes, headaches, being sick and not being able to take any medicine, shortness of breaths, not fitting into ANY clothes, etc has been very interesting and I give so much respect to all the women who have beared children and to all those who will in the future. It is a beautiful experience to carry a child and be able to know you have something SO worth suffering and waiting for, especially when this little person will be composed of you and the person you love and a bond will be made that can never be broken. Im ready to take this next chapter of my life and enjoy it to the maximum.




Tuesday, December 27, 2011

34 weeks

Well this week I approach the 34 week mark, which is halfway through the 3rd trimester. The constant shortness of breath, uncomfortableness, and 1st time Mom anxiety is at its worst right now as I only average about 2-4 hours of sleep a night. I can't help but feel nervous about labor, and becoming a mom and it is something very normal for first time parents to feel this way. We have everything almost ready and I can only prepare myself so much for what my life is about to hand me, the biggest responsiblity someone can possibly have. Personally, I don't think men really understand what women go through. They have it so easy. They don't have to go through pregnancy, or labor, or the after effects of labor. I tend to believe that "men don't become dads until their baby is born", because they really have no idea or the ability to know how we feel or what is going on in our brains throughout this time. It is just another good night sleep and another day for them.

The womans body is an absolute spectacle. I look at pictures of my body before and how small my stomach was and proportinate I was and it is INSANE to me to know how my body has changed and what it has done to me physically and emotionally. I refuse to be one of those mothers who uses the excuse of "oh, I gained so much baby weight and I can't lose it" or just use pregnancy as a general excuse for everything. No.... you take the stroller and you go for a walk with your baby and you lose the weight you put on so that you can feel sexy again. Don't get me wrong, the body of a pregnant woman is a beautiful thing and most might find it sexy in more ways than one, but I can't wait to wear my old clothes again and feel "light" again and hold my baby with a sense of accomplishment. Its hard to see a relationship go through this, especially sexually and the changes you go through. But it is only normal and common for couples to go through this and before you know the passion is revived and alive again and I would expect it to be a whole other level than before.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Responsibility

As I have adapted to the pregnant life for almost 8 months now, I have seen many changes. Obviously you can't drink, smoke, drink too much caffiene, do any crazy activities or pull all nighters like you used to, you really begin to see how limited you are to things. I am not saying that my life was all about drinking and partying, but I do occasionally miss the glass of wine or grabbing a drink when I go out to dinner. It is something that is well worth it, but its funny the feelings you feel throughout this 9 month journey. Like you can't go skiing, or go to amusement parks, or anything like that and I have always enjoyed the outdoor activities.

A part of me is very sad that things had to end up like this that Ivan and I couldn't enjoy just us two together as a couple for awhile and do the crazy things we used to while living together. Our living experience was pretty much done very quickly and forced. It is something that I do wish we could of had and lived together as a newlywed couple. However, I can't regret, because regret will only make me feel grief for my baby to be, because he/she doesn't have the guilt and is not responsible for any of our actions. I can only be 25, take responsiblity for MY actions and Ivan for his and anxiously await my new arrival and lifestyle with a grain of salt. I can't worry about not finishing school as young as I would have liked to be, or that I will have to go back to work right away after my little one is born, or that money is scarce.... Worrying only makes you sick and causes you to play head games. I am positive that things happen the way they are supposed to and nothing, EVER, is a mistake.... I have read this over a million times and said it probably about a hundred times... but NOTHING GOOD COMES EASILY and NOTHING IS A MISTAKE, ONLY EXPERIENCES TO LIVE BY.

XoXoXo

Monday, December 12, 2011

Anxious

Well after my 31 week appointment last Friday, everything is looking good at this point. The baby weights about 3.5 pounds and is in the head down position (which we want to stay that way). This weekend we will take our first class and as the weeks go by, I am getting more and more anxious as there are less than 2 months and my whole life will change forever. I am buying all that I need to be prepared and reading all that I can to be somewhat intelligent for when my little one arrives. Like Ivan and I discussed, no one is ever ready and prepared for their first baby, but the more you read the more confident you will feel and I feel that if you are confident with the baby, the baby can feel that and feel peace.

Other than that, Finals are this week and school will be over and Christmas approaches us next weekend already.