::2011 Bound::

These past couple days have been quite eventful. Baking Christmas cookies, parties, catching up with old friends, etc. I spent the Holidays attached at the hip with my boyfriend, Ivan. It was his first time ever spending them away from his mom and dad as they went to Leon, Mexico where they are from originally. I took this opportunity to spend the Holidays with my family and he came along with. It was quite different then it usually is for him, but I appreciate every second he spent with us because it really meant a lot. My family is a bit more bitter than his, well not all of them, but a handful. The last thing you want around the Holidays is a negative attitude and party poopers. And I feel like some of my relatives could be categorized as just that. But we made it through together and it just constantly reminds m of how I DONT want my family to be in the future. But my Mom and Dads company is always appreciated. And we did miss Jeff this year. 


I was also able to reconnect with a childhood friend this weekend Allyson. She is 24 and working in sales in NYC. Talk about accomplished. I am so proud of her and I look at her as a role model in some ways, and she is only a few months older than I. I am astonished by the way she went out and got what she wanted right after college. It was great to catch up with her. I swear I have implanted a never ending red light alarm in my brain to keep me on track, centered and to throw out the old and welcome the new. I am welcoming 2011 with open arms and mind. A few goals for the year: LA Marathon in March, immersing into dance classes in Hollywood, pursuing Yoga, traveling to a few new places and getting through school full time again. God bless..Cest La' vie.... xoxoxo

Annalee

I absolutely despise the rain and it has been raining non stop for 3 days almost now. It limits your things to do and when I have nothing to do I tend to think too much. And when I think too much it is not good. Because then I get depressed thinking about things or people that don't matter or I am trapped inside a house looking out at the grey and wetness of the world. And the drops that fall on the windows resemble tears for some reason. I love the heat and I used to love waking up with my bathing suit on, my hair in curls, my skin a little sunkissed and sand in my sheets from the beach trip the day before. I have always pictured my house near the beach, where I can open my windows and the wind from the beach air would blow the curtains and I could fall asleep to the sound of the waves crashing onto the shore. Also I could have my kids play in the sand all day building sandcastles and surf and not have them inside playing video games and eating microwaved meals.

In conclusion, this weekend I spent the majority of it with my best friend and her newborn daughter. And gosh I learned more in one day than I thought I could of learned in a week about how much I love her and how much I adore her. She is younger than I am, but that doesn't mean a thing. She is always teaching me things, whether it be cooking, cleaning or how to take care of a baby. She really inspired me and watching her care for her baby was nothing but a beautiful sight to see. Not just her, but her husband as well. Annalee I feel is almost like my daughter. I look at her and I just smile and think that I want to contribute as much of my life to hers and pass on any knowledge I can to this little girl.

::Perdono y Olvido::

se que te sorprende verme aqui parado
se que fui muy claro en que no iba a voler
pero estoy cansado de estar asustado
solo con pensar en no volverte a ver
y ya en un momento tienes que entender
tengo que decir que estoy muy lastimado
que no sera facil volver a empezar
pero siempre he estado tan enamorado
y si aun me amas quiero regresar
este tiempo solo me ayuda a pensar

que me importa lo que hiciste ayer
si te haz equivocado he estado tan ciego
que no te he escuchado
pero creo que ahora puedo continuar...

que no entiendo mi vida sin ti
que perdono y olvido
que quiero intentarlo
si aun no te he perdido
que hay tantos momentos que quiero salvar

se que dije cosas porque estaba herido
y que haberme ido no fue lo mejor
puede ser muy cruel cuando estas confundido
cuando te ha segado un golpe de valor
hoy se que vivir contigo es lo mejor

que me importa lo que hiciste ayer
si te haz equivocado he estado tan ciego
que no te he escuchado
pero creo que ahora puedo continuar...

que no entiendo mi vida sin ti
que perdono y olvido
que quiero intentarlo
si aun no te he perdido
que hay tantos momentos que quiero salvar

no te quiero ver con alguien llorando
no despues de amarnos tanto
mirame!! te lo repetire:

que me importa lo que hiciste ayer
si te haz equivocado he estado tan ciego
que no te he escuchado
pero creo que ahora puedo continuar...

que no entiendo mi vida sin ti
que perdono y olvido
que quiero intentarlo
si aun no te he perdido

Body Awareness

Afrer this week is over it is Time to get back to broadening my yogi education and enrolling in Hollywood Dance Center.... hell yeah!!!! I can't wait to meet new people and immerse myself into this! Also time to start training for the LA Marathon in March!! I am ready to physically challenge my body to the max... I have been waiting for this!!

 

..::Travel Bug::.

Just a few places I'd like to go before I die... there are like hundreds more on the list! Here are some pictures of Rio, Italy, Monaco (south of France) Paris, New York, London.... etc etc...

::Peanut Butter and Jelly::

I am itching to write this morning, especially after sitting in traffic for 40mins to get to work this morning when it is usually a 10 min drive. Now.. I have to comment on the fact of culture upbringing. Who is right and who is wrong when an issue is raised? Every culture and every family obviously think their way of  upbringing is the right way. But when it comes to expressing opinions on someone elses judgement, you can't be assumed as right also. There will be differences and you can't get upset or get your undies in a bundle when this happens. My parents raised me in somewhat of a traditional way. They always wanted the best for me, raised me with the proper discipline and always warned me of the consequences that could be ahead. To remain a virgin until marriage, not move out with your boyfriend, and I could stay at home till I got married, graduated college, blah blah. However, things don't go always as planned. I thought I needed to learn my lessons by taking my own risks and being brave and always taking the much more extragavant route everywhere I went. I heckled my parents till their last drop, sadly it was all worth it. I took tons of turns rights and lefts, u turns, yields, found myself on one way streets, dead ends and even broke down, but thank God for the stop lights that allowed me to pause and think of my actions and then decide to put on the proper turn signal to get back home.
My point in this is no matter how you bring up your kids, no matter how much you want the things you want for them (although half the time what you want for your kids, isn't what they want), they are going to do what they want to do. Become a rebel in diguise, which is the opposite of what you want to happen. When two people come together from different upbringings you have to compromise between the two brains and their way of thinking or else it is screaming for divorce. Especially in this modern age of living. The traditional approach is a failure these days unfortunately, but if you have a balance of serveral approaches you might have success in raising your kids.

I have had my heart broken many times and broken many hearts, left the country with $25 in my pocket, slept with guns under my pillow, dropped out of school, experienced alcoholic blackouts in the hospital and my parents didn't tell me how to do handle any of these situations, expect this from me or nor did I have any of this planned. It just happened. And I am glad it did. Because I have figured out at a young age what it was all about. And to better prepare my children for these experiences and what is like to live on the wild side. My parents never did such things, they were extremely traditional, so they were in shock when all this happened. You have to taste life before you can critique it and write a review. Now for 24 years I am pretty sure I could write a book about my adventures and It might be a bestseller, but God only know whats in store for the next 24.... all I know is I have to use my best judgement in accordance to the consequences I have suffered from my episodes in the past or reape the rewards from the good things I have done.

Atmosphere...

I don't want to die stupid, I want to die knowledgeable and wise. I thank God everyday for me being able to kick out all the bad habits I used to have, and for making me new habits.  This Thanksgiving that past, I really thanked God for peace of mind. Because I used to not have it. And not having peace of mind can drive one mad. I wake up and I am not confused about what I want to do with my life. And I go to bed with a sense of knowing that tomorrow will be one more day closer to the dream and another day to gaining more wisdom I didn't have. If you pass your days without gaining knowledge, your life is a waste of time. If you stick to the same routine and you have nothing new to talk about...you become boring. You become predictable. Like those that pass their weekends in a night club. You are so predictable. Where to go, what to do, what to wear...I used to be that person. I used to be in a routine of doing that every weekend. With plans to go out, have fun, get buzzed, meet a hottie and then the next day I am the same exact person. (however I did find my boyfriend in a club, but that only happens once in a blue moon, heheh). But I was so boring, I had nothing to talk about and I did in fact, become predictable. It was the same story for months, wait, for years. I became so worn out from that atmosphere. In fact, last night I went to a night club and found myself in a train of thought of thinking "how the hell was this ever fun" or "how did this ever satisfy my craving for fun". And it is amazing to see the same people there, that were there 2 or 3 years ago, that have made no progress and are still stuck in the same routine. My prayers go out to these people. Really, they do. I am somewhat disgusted by the idea that these people have nothing better to do than engage in those activities for so long and not be willing to change. Not be willing to try something new. Like for example, running into people last night from back in the day, your old clubbing friends.. you never saw them during the week, just on the weekends and strictly to go out to clubs. What do you talk to them about... what is the conversation... "oh hey your still here, how have you been"... you never talked to these people about school, family, facts of life, you never shared any meaningful words, it was all bull shit. They weren't your friends. They were your sad excuse to be recognized in the club. And I found myself in that position last night. And I felt sorry for the other person. My sympathy goes out to those people.

 

A Piece of Ivanne

As I don't have much to do since Ive been diagnosed with a respiratory infection and my lungs are full of junk... I find myself in pensiveness. I never thought the day would come that I would love someone as much as I love myself and my family. Next year in April it will be 3 years since I met the man I call my boyfriend, Ivan Gomez. It is hard to believe we met each other at 21. The party phase of our lives. But I Have learned new things about myself everyday through this person and not all are necessarily good things ( I mean come on he drives me crazy sometimes and makes me frustrated to the point of crying or wanting to punch a wall), but they are all emotions. As it is good to feel emotion (good or bad). Because who are we without it? I am a bit embarrassed to admit I get butterflies in my stomach every time he comes to my door and every time I kiss him I feel protection and I could kiss those lips for eternity and still not have enough. Our weeks are full of bitching about school assignments, exams and trying to understand how to make it in this world to better ourselves and each other. Between the two of us, we have lived lots of life and have lots of experience in a bunch of aspects of life. I am in love with the fact of us and I am in love with everything that is in store for us. Sometimes as I drive in the good ol Jeep, I will find myself rapidly switching the music to a romantic song screaming at the top of my lungs, or smiling for no reason strictly because of the love I have inside of me and the love I Have to offer to someone else.

Almost Thanksgiving...

Thanksgiving. Being thankful. Life is full of blessings. I am surrounded by them everyday.  2010 has been a very challenging, but over all pleasant year, but Ive really learned to test my patience and my ability to love. When it comes to friends, I've lost a bunch unfortunately. But at 24, it is a risk you have to take whether you want to or not. I might have just a handful of friends, but man are they good ones. You really got to take a good look at who you surround yourself with. When in a relationship, it is extremely hard. Most of your time is spent with that other person and friends get jealous, upset and unforgiving, and usually not against you but especially against your partner. You have to focus on if they are in agreement with your relationship and can accept your moving on from them. That the weekends won't be the same, the conversation material will shift and time with them lacks. But when it comes to your friends pushing you to make bad decisions, poor choices, and tempting you to invest your time in weak activities, its time to act.

Sometimes it is just the thought of "They have been my friends for so long, they have always been there, they are good people" well, they haven't been there for you in times like this where serious actions need to be taken and decisions are being made to better yourself for a succesful future. Maybe their good friends because they answer the phone when you call or they help you when your drunk off your booty and throwing up at the local gas station in a paper bag. What is the quality in the friendship? Are you stuck in the past? Are you trying to hold onto something that has already diminished? Do you still share the same interests as you did before?

Serenity...

Adriana and Osvaldo...