XoXoOXOXOXO

::Live and Let Love::

There are nights full of laughter, smiles, passion and kindess. There are nights full of silence, coldness, bitterness and yelling. There are nights I wish I could make love to you endlessly. There are nights of constant fighting where I can't stand looking at you. You drive me absolutely crazy, completely and desperately crazy. Crazy in both ways of the word. Crazy in love, crazy emotionally, crazy physically, crazy in your arms tight around me, crazy when I raise my voice at you, crazy when you make me slam my car door, crazy when you kiss my lips, crazy. Only you.  

Esta forma de amarte es la mas loca que no hay palabras de explicar como me siento. If I were to leave you, the days would drag so slowly, the nights would be unbearable, my lips would become dry, my smile wouldn't shine and my eyes would have no focal point. If I were to stay with you I would experience every emotion under the sun, whether it being good or bad, I would feel alive in every aspect, I would feel as though I was fighting for something worthy and you are my trophy that I could hold between my own hands, worship and adore. I've always mentioned and said Peanut butter and jelly is the best combination there is. Without the sweet and fruity jelly, or without the bitter, smooth or crunchy peanut butter you have nothing and when the contrasting ingriedients mix together, they are perfection to the taste. But you must mix both equally or else it will leave a bad taste in your mouth.

I despise waking up mad at you, I hate leaving you in a negative manner and thinking bad thoughts of you. I hate not knowing where you are, if your not ok, if you are thinking about me. I hate it. I hate the way you hate things about me. I wish I could be everything you wanted, hoped for and dreamed of, but I can't. And we can't apologize everytime for being me or nor can you.



Is there something wrong with being yourself? Is there something dissapointing about having an opinion? Absolutely not.

Aspirations, Love and Laughter

With everything that has been going on lately, like problems extreme sadness with not passing my math class (however, I Will this summer conquer the subject), and other things... I had a fabulous weekend. It all began on Friday night with my date with Ivan. It was just what we needed. I swear, with all the storms that may happen in a relationship there is always a rainbow at the end (if there is love). We have had some major issues this past month, we have made it through extra strong and I swear I have fallen in love with him all over again. I can't wait for this new chapter in our lives, I feel as though we are very strong and can get through absolutely anything.... together. I will do anything to make this relationship succeed and thrive.  Sometimes it takes these fights, arguments, silence, or whatever to really figure out what you have with someone. 


We spent Friday in amazing seats at the Dodger game and went to watch some great live music afterwards. Saturday I relaxed, enjoyed a great movie with my mother, and spent the day catching up. And today I spent the day with My BFF and her family. We enjoyed enchiladas, blue moons, great laughs, and Annalee, I love her so much. I love that family so much. Such a great day with them. 


Next week is finals I plan on getting an A on each of my tests, despite my failure in math I still have my head up and remain with a positive attitude that I can do this. Afterwards it is the Bahamas and Miami with my love.... can't wait!!!!!


XoxoXooxoxo

Perdido Sin Ti

Quedate cada noche
Y suename en la luna
Amame por las calles
Perdidas de mi vida
Besame poco a poco
No sea que me muera
Vive con esto loco
Perdido que te quire

Si me hace falta tu presencia
Yo me pierdo buscandote
Cierro mi vida, cierro para mi
El libro blanco de mi vida
El libro blanco de mi vida

Perdido sin ti
No me dejes solo Sin ti

Quedate en mi casa I love you
Sin ti me falta todo I need you
Sin ti no queda nada

Estoi perdido No me dejes solo
Sin ti Quedate en mi casa
No te vayas Sin ti me falta todo
Esperate Sin ti no queda nada

Amor Quedate Amor
Quedate Toda la vida
Quedate Perdido sin ti

Guardate en mi memoria
Y escondete en mis brazos
Metete por los poros
Abiertos de mi herida
Mirame desde cerca
Y matame si quieres
Pero no me abandones
Al viento de mi vida

Si me falta tu presencia
Yo me pierdo buscandote
Cierro mi vida, cierro para mi
El libro blanco de mi vida
El libro blanco de mi vida

SOCIALLY RETARDED

YOU KNOW WHAT SUCKS? WHEN YOU KNOW HOW YOUR WEEK IS GONNA GO. WAKE UP ON MONDAY GO TO WORK AND SCHOOL WITH THE SAME RHYTHM FOR 5 DAYS. YOU PRETTY MUCH KNOW WHAT YOUR DAY AT WORK WILL CONSIST OF AND WHEN YOU GET HOME YOUR TOO DEAD TIRED TO DO ANYTHING. I CURRENTLY FEEL LIKE THE ONLY DAYS IM ALIVE AND THRIVING ARE ON THE WEEKENDS. 48 LOUSY HOURS. I DON'T EVEN GET TO COMMUNICATE MUCH WITH MY PARENTS BECAUSE BY THE TIME I COME HOME, DAD IS ASLEEP AND I'M TOO EXHAUSTED TO CONVERSATE OR ENJOY A MOVIE WITH MY MOM. SAME GOES WITH MY FRIENDS AND BOYFRIEND. I HARDLY SEE MY FRIENDS OR MY BOYFRIEND. IT IS REALLY HARD TO SEE HIM JUST ONE DAY OUT OF THE WEEK. AND SOMETIMES THE ONLY TIME WE GET TO SEE EACHOTHER IS WHEN WE MAKE A STUDY DATE OUT OF OUR FREE TIME. AND IT SUCKS TO THINK THAT FOR ANOTHER FEW YEARS THIS IS HOW ITS GONNA BE. HOW CAN YOU GET TO KNOW SOMEONE WITH SUCH LITTLE BODILY CONTACT OR THROUGH 24 HOUR TEXT MESSAGING? PERSONALLY IM GETTING A BIT TIRED AND BORED OF USING TECHNOLOGY TO KEEP IN CONTACT.

HUMAN CONTACT BRINGS ME TO THIS.... I'VE NOTICED IN VARIOUS PEOPLE THAT EYE CONTACT IS A HUGE PROBLEM THESE DAYS. PEOPLE ARE SO COMFORTABLE WITH TEXTING, FACEBOOKING, CHATTING, ETC THAT THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO LOOK SOMEONE IN THEIR EYES ANYMORE. THERE IS THIS GIRL WHO SITS NEXT TO ME IN A CLASS THAT IS CONSTANTLY ON FACEBOOK, SHE MUST CHECK IT AT LEAST EVERY 15 MINS. OR IN THE COMPUTER LAB AT SCHOOL, JUST ABOUT 80% OF THE PEOPLE USE THE COMPUTERS TO CHECK THEIR FACEBOOK. SERIOUSLY? IS THIS WHAT THE WORLD HAS COME TO? SUPER PATHETIC.....I AM SUCH A PEOPLE PERSON AND IF IT WERE UP TO ME, I'D THROW OUT MY PHONE AND LIVE ON AN ISLAND IF IT WERE POSSIBLE.

La Primavera

Hola a todos!! Well today is Tuesday and its midterm/hell week at school. I don't even know where to start and the reality of school being halfway done is stressin me out cause my grades aren't bangin right now. My focus has been thrown out the door somehow ayyy yi yiyi no bueno!! 5 classes is extremely a lot on my plate, especially when im mentally retarded in Math and work full time oh and being a girlfriend and having a life. So, my #1 goal right now is school and passing and being complacent with my grades. Anywho... This past weekend was really fun. On Saturday the sister in laws and some others went out to this amazing sushi spot in LA that over looked the whole city and it was like you were in Japan on a mountain with really good overpriced sushi and japanese gardens. Then after we decided not to do the clubbin thing and be silly at home with tons of tequila and whiskey. Lots of laughs. xoxoxo Ciao

The Golden Rule

What compells people to cheat or lie? What kind of satisfaction does it fulfill? Is it the adrenaline? Is it the chance you take that you MIGHT get caught and you like the risk. I was reading in my Psychology book last week about relationships and it mentioned something along the lines that most people in a relationship often fantasize about having sexual activity with someone other than their partner. WOW. That will make you feel insecure. I guess it goes for both women/men, but the percentages definetely lead in the mens favor. Why is this world so corrupted in the relationship aspect? Our divorce rate is already off the charts high.  No wonder women get breast implants or starve themselves and men actually believe that penis enlargement devices work. Why do people that are so unhappy remain in their miserable relationships?

In the past 3 days, I've talked with two girls. Both of different ages and both experiencing difficulties in their relationships right now. Both have proven they crave the desire to be fought for. They want to see the actions to be taken, the suffering, the pain and the chase the man will do for them. If you break up with someone and they respond back "OK, well if thats how you feel and want" how is that supposed to make you feel? They don't have enough feelings to chase after you or make it work? Why are womens standards or expectations in a relationship so different than men? Women solely need to trust their instinct and use it wisely. If every woman did that, we would not have such a strong stereotype on ourselves.

Love is an experience to be lived without fear of taking risks, to surpass any inability to cry or laugh, and to give a piece of your heart to someone and expect that given piece of theirs to complete your given half. Like a puzzle. In Kindergarden we are taught to "Do to others as you would like them to do to you"... "The Golden Rule"... where in life do we begin to lose the respect or the purpose in that?

Ridiculous, inconvienent, consuming, cant live without eachother, until the end, love....